Optionality Curse

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Currently I have total 17 browser tabs open from PCBway, HHKB, Kinesis KeyChron, why qwerty sucks and Colemak is superior, etc… all because i want to get a split mechanical keyboard, not just simply get and use but want to build myself, the issue is this feeling comes every month atleas two times, I decide this is final i am ordering pcb and parts right away, Call my friend who owns 3d printer if he will help me, from where i will get the cheapest parts, I ask mom where is the old soldering iron went missing from my table, I do all kinds of stupid comparion from layout to whether i want knob or not. I convince myself why ergonmics matters, not good for my wrist and ten other reasons which has no head and tail.

I type really well on my normal qwerty butterfly mac keyboard, around 90WPM. Which is not super fast or exceptional but fast enough. despite this i see somebody using black HHKB keyboard, now suddenly all my reason about ergonomics are gone out of window. Now i will go dig the history of HHKB why it is cool why people buy it, why it is cool same thing which i did for split keyboard.

I am also part of keyboard subreddit and from random scrolling i found new keyboard keys and compact layout and now i am again into that same rabbit hole which i described for above two case. This saga repeats every month for at least two times and i have kind a started to lowkey enjoy it, but this same pattern i have lot of times in other parts of life both in mine and my friends.

What happend with me for keyboards, same happens with me in Netflix where i want to movie, but i am just been thinkign about all the options, which one looks good which one to watch or which one to not watch, all looks interesting, i want to watch romo-com, sci-fi, one can’t miss Tarantino film, and in the same anyalsis paralysis i realised i didn’t watch any movie as result but i have killed the same movie time or i have abandoned the plan to watch movie which i really wanted.

My friends have also described similar problem, it’s amplified 10x because of attention span and access to too much information(options), in one reel she wants to learn and play song on guitar in the next harmonica, She wants to become photographer cause somebody is sharing their journey which looks really easy and adventurous. Many time she does take steps to persue them by taking small action by doing some research(which i also did), in implsuive ordering harmonica, or calling friend to borrow camera. It feels really productive in hindsight illusion of progress without the discomfort or pain.

For some reason all stars align, she tries {hobby/skill/art}, and generally quites after often or two attempts. Not because she didn’t want it, but because something new arrived before the old thing got hard enough to get good. Those true sounding substack snake oil salesman screams whenever you start thinking: you lack agency, being high agency in life is what you are missing and why you are behind all the people in the race?

I disagree with these snake oil salesman, Agency or better word “bias for action” without commitment is just faster context-switching. One becomes extermely efficient at starting things and not perusing or completing things or worst just taking small action to keep open door in your life. That’s not silve bullet to the problem but upgraded version of the same problem.

Palmer Luckey articulates better then me:

“At some point, in business and in life and in romance, you have to commit to a path,” said the 31-year-old Luckey. “A lot of my peers in the tech industry do not share this philosophy … They’re always pursuing everything with optionality. ’Oh, I need to be able to raise money from anybody. I need to be able to sell my business in any way. I need to have liquidity in any way. I need to make sure that I’m not closing myself off to future romantic partners. I need to make sure I’ve got my options open. I need to make sure that I’m not going to buy a house and settle down in one place and lock myself down. Oh, having children. I don’t know. Maybe I’m not ready to commit to that path.’”

“In keeping their options open, they ensure that they’re going to jump from option to option. If you don’t commit to a path, you’re going to fail at it … You have to commit to it to make it work, and I think marriage is the same way. You just have to commit to it. You have to say, ’This is the path I’m on. For better or for worse, I’m going to double down on it.’”

I have kind of started to lowkey enjoy it. Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe that’s fine. I don’t know yet.